Euro Cortado #4: We've had a shocker

Exciting Romania and plucky Slovakia cause the first upsets at Euro 2024, as France rely on some little fella they found in Saudi Arabia

The opening weekend of UEFA Euro 2024 had beautiful football, tumbling records, epic subplots and wonderful examples of fan culture, everything the start of a major tournament requires. Well, almost everything.

The only thing lacking was a surprise result, but thankfully for us neutrals, Monday’s matches arrived to set that straight by providing a couple of shocks that have left my fingers still tingling as I type.

The barista is calling your name, your morning Euro Cortado is ready, as we look at what we learnt over the past 24 hours.

Want to score? Try shooting

Certain sections of the very-online football world have been cheering the reintroduction of the “big man up top” at these championships, heralding the end of the “Pep-ball”, “robotic” era of the game.

I disagree. Instead, football has regenerated in the last few days - it still has all its modern intricacies, but has managed to incorporate not only the Wout Weghorsts of this world, but the most beautiful aspect of them all - the long range screamer.

Only supposed to shoot when your data analyst says you have an XG of 0.7 or higher? Try telling that to Romania, who in the colourful cauldron of Munich, took the lead against Ukraine thanks to Nicolae Stanciu’s curler into the top corner from 25 yards, then from a similar distance, Răzvan Marin tested Andriy Lunin. The Real Madrid goalkeeper, brilliant all season, failed the test. Time and time again, they were just having a go, shooting on site, and their fans were loving it!

Without a European Championship win since 2000, Romania played as if their golden generation of the 1990s had just woken up from being frozen in time, yet their clinical third from Denis Drăguș suggested they had been programmed with enough modern sensibilities.

Ukraine on the other hand, many people’s dark horses (including mine!), attempted to play in a manner far too controlled. It was as if they had to find Artem Dovbyk in the box to be allowed an attempt at goal, or at least, cross the ball 10 yards from where he wanted it, which they so often did.

However, once 3-0 down, they did try their luck more often, as if they had given up on their own ideas and decided to copy their opponents’ homework. It did not come to fruition, but I tell you, this shooting lark, it could catch on.

Luck be not a Belgian lady

After Romania took Ukraine apart, Slovakia decided to out-do them against Belgium, as Ivan Schranz punished Jérémy Doku’s mistake at the back after seven minutes, the only goal of the game.

A great result for Slovakia, who defended admirably, yet they must have already used up their share of good luck for these finals! For Belgium, suffering their first defeat since the 2022 World Cup, they must wonder when they will get a slice.

Much like in Qater, Romelu Lukaku missed chances early on, as did several of his teammates and the less said about Wout Faes at the back, the better. Yet, as usual it is big Rom now being lambasted for his performance, a performance which would have won the game for Belgium in the pre-VAR era.

For his first disallowed goal, he was marginally offside - and offside is offside - but he and all of Belgium can feel hard done by for his second would-be equaliser, which brushed the hand of Loïs Openda in the build-up and though the whole world agreed that Openda gained no real advantage, the goal was chalked off. But when your luck’s in…!

Claret-spilling French saved by vintage Kanté

Antoine Griezmann nursing a cut forehead after clattering into an advertising hoarding, Kylian Mbappé suffering a broken nose thanks to Kevin Danso’s shoulder and the game decided by a scrappy own goal - France will be delighted to escape Dusseldorf with all three points against Austria.

He will not get nearly the amount of abuse Lukaku receives, but Mbappé was arguably more guilty of not taking his chances as the game hung in the balance with Austria looking a threat.

Instead, it was surprise squad inclusion N’Golo Kanté who proved exactly why he was called-up by Didier Deschamps. Injury problems in recent years and a move to Saudi Arabia did not stop the diminutive hero rolling back the years, breaking up the play and stopping Austrian attacks at source as only he can. Welcome back N’Golo, we’ve missed you!

France join England and the Netherlands as the big guns who won when playing badly (always a good sign, it has to be said), while Austria join Hungary and Ukraine as defeated dark horses, but Ralf Rangnick’s men showed much more promise than the other two.

Anthony Tomas is a football writer and commentator, who writes for Flashscore and World Soccer Magazine